On being alive

I’ve been alive.

When trying to come up with an interesting title for this blog post I couldn’t really say what I did the past months, so I’ll just say I’ve been alive. That’s a good start.

You know, I wanted to abandon this site. Over the months, my mind connected it with things such as pressure or uncomfortable feelings. But abandoning it seemed to “trigger” some relief inside my brain, so here I am, liking my site again.

My original idea was to restructure everything a little, but don’t make it like a blog again, so I simply gave every page a category. After doing so (read: after tweaking shit again for at least 20-30 hours because I’m a fucking perfectionist), I noticed it was – surprise! – extremely blog-like and therefore concluded I could also just use a static-site-generator which would make it easier for me to publish content. Which is a nice way to overhaul the theme once again because I found myself implementing feature creep and then quickly shivered away from it. But it’s not as far from the original idea as you think. We have a grotesque font, some headlines, and a very minimal design with bright letters on a dark colour. Oy vey, just like the journal!


And it’s not as easy to find a good static-site-generator as you might think. Hugo is blazingly fast, but Go templating sucks and it has some very annoying defaults regarding assets. (The officially recommended starter theme solves this by reading the css file into each page’s head at compile-time. What the Fuck?) Then, there’s Jekyll, and getting the whole Ruby environment set up is already a pain in the ass. On top of that, it’s terribly slow and even the command to show its help menu takes one second, or is it two? Also, there’s Pelican. I can’t remember what bothered me about it, but it must mean something when I decide not to use a tool written in my favourite language, Python.

Which is why I settled for Hexo, written in JavaScript. Although I hate that language, Hexo is the tool which gets most things right. It supports a lot of different templating engines, is fast enough for my needs and you don’t get cancer when trying to write a theme. Also, it has very convenient asset management.

But it doesn’t render extended Markdown. So I installed markdown-it, which also provides footnote support and everythings works fine and you’re left amazed …

… until you have a homepage consisting of multiple footnote sections and all the reference IDs collide and you’re left frustrated because Hexo’s markdown-it plugin doesn’t support configuring this. Guess I’ll have to hack my way into a JavaScript source, wishing to end my life once again.

For now, I’ll hide footnotes on the front page because of this. Sorry.


Apart from that, I also wrote two things. It’s not much: - {% post_link ‘93-til-infinity’ %} - {% post_link ‘being-fragile-nin-review’ %}


Regarding older content, I found most of it quite superficial and/or embarassing to look at. I refined some articles and deleted others. Have fun reading everything you already know all over again!

  • written by jonas