I can't concentrate right now, but that's okay

On Friday afternoon, my former schoolmates picked me up and we got into a car, drove to Lower Saxony (the Brits controlled this part of Germany after the collapse of the Third Reich which is why it’s kinda dull and boring here) and went camping. As I said in the last post, I usually hate camping, but I still liked the idea to do something with my friends.

On the first day, it started raining, I was tired, everything looked shitty and I got quite depressed. Here’s an excerpt from the last post I had written but couldn’t publish due to bad reception (thank god.)

This place is dull and depressing. Bad weather makes me feel like shit. It started raining when we wanted to set up the tent. It fucking sucks. I’ll just try to get some sleep in that cold, muddy, smelly tent with three muddy, smelly dudes while some loud jerks from the tent next to us make a lot of noise.

After a noisy night full of loud EDM music blasted at an inhumane volume level, crammed into a shitty sleeping bag, I was in a surprisingly good mood. The sun was shining. I went to the camp site’s bath house and took a shower, which was surprisingly warm and pleasant as fuck, with some radio music blaring out of a tiny speaker. I got dressed and we went to the reception where an old lady approached one of my friends and offered him her newly bought JVC bluetooth headphones (for which she apparently paid 50 euros) for just 5! euros, stating she had no use for them. I thought she wanted to scam him or was just batshit insane but this lady remained insistent, prasing JVC to the skies for its quality. At this point I had to force myself hard not to laugh out loud.

“JVC is a company of outstanding quality!”
- weird elderly woman, 2017

After taking a beautiful trip on a pedal boat, we went to the woman’s motorhome to see what her offer was all about. Turned out she had bought the headphones to enjoy her opera music in an audiophile manner but they didn’t sound as good as she wanted to. As an audiophile myself, I can understand this perfectly and the weird eldery woman turned into an narcisstic, likeable lady that just wanted to get rid of her headphones in all honesty.

“I have brilliant ears, you know?”
- narcisstic, likeable lady, 2017

While my friend tried to pair the headphones and his phone, I talked to the woman about what she did on this camp site and why. Turns out she doesn’t have a husband nor children and is kinda bored, so she sold her apartment and now chills out at the camp site all the time with her motorhome and in a few weeks she’ll go to Spain just because she can. That’s great.

We also had this conversation:
her: “Yes, and I also had a Yamaha [insert model number here] piano at home.”
me: “Okay haha!!” *tries to be interested*
her: “Do you know that thing?”
me: “Well, actually I don’t.”
her: “Yeah then why don’t you just ask me about that?”

I would like to hate the JVC granny, but I love her direct way of speaking a little too much for that.

After that we played some minigolf (I lost :/) and then barbecued some stuff.

I will go home tomorrow and enjoy my bed like I never did before. It was fun though. Also the loud jerky music from the jerky jerks next to our tent makes me kinda nervous and keeps be from really getting into the mood for writing so this post might be a clusterfuck, sorry. And even though I can’t concentrate right now, it’s kinda okay.


Edit 16 Jul 2017: The moment we wanted to sleep, the stomach of friend X started aching, and it worsened. We decided it was best to take him to a local hospital, but the camping ground’s gate locks after 10pm, there was nobody awake and the emergency number lead to a fire station far far away where they said “we don’t have anything to do with the emergency doctor but we can break the gate if you want us to. In the meantime, some other friend tried waking up permanent campers, and he was successful with it, because there was one with a key.

In the end, it took us about an hour to get to the hospital. According to the metadata of photos we took, we reached the emergency department at probably 3am. Then, we got to the camp site again but since I’ve gotten extremely hungry I suggested that we went to McDonald’s first. So we did, and we were lucky because it closed at 4am but we entered at 3:59am, probably annoying the local manager who kicked us out at 4:15.

a German McDonald's subsidiary in the dark

Anyway, I ordered a soft drink from [insert terrible company here] and a Hamburger Royal TS. Did you know the Royal TS was first sold in Germany? Did you know the “TS” stands for “Tomate” and “Salat” which roughly translates to “tomato” and “salad”? Did you know you can’t get this tasty burger in America and that it’s not because of the metric system? Now you know.

  • written by jonas