Fuck Your CDN

Hello there.

It's past midnight, I have nothing to important to worry about apart from dissociating but that's cool and not frightening at all, I swear, so I might as well write a post about something that has been concerning me for ages. This is also a great chance at refreshing my Neocities image of a mean-spirited cum dumpster.

I can be your cum dumpster, too: strata@posteo.de!

Anyway, I want to get a point across, which consists of you needing to go fuck yourself, if you are a web developer. At least if you are a bad one. Which is about every web developer that happens to be a breathing, somewhat human-like, and parasitic lifeform that gets a pointless share of perfectly good air that more reasonable people could use for breathing.

And now you are asking me why I tell you to go fuck yourself.

Because you are likely using content delivery networks (CDNs) for your Neocities site, which is irresponsible, grossly negligent, and completely pointless. Just like your presumable failure of a father. After all, you are a web developer.

I don't even know why I seemingly need to explain this, but did you know that including content from a third-party CDN means that the visitor's browser has to connect to that CDN? Using a HTTP request? Which includes a Referer header? Or User-Agent, which is an extremely valuable source for fingerprinting the user's browser?

I assure you, people who can count to ten without relying on their fingers would understand this.

Get it?

I will never, never ever, understand how web developers can be such incredibly lazy fucks that they don't bother to self-host these completely free and open libraries and opt to selling their users out instead, and moreover, on a voluntary basis.

Here are a few more reasons to self-host CDN content, if you don't give a shit about being an ethical webmaster:

As you might conclude, it is probably a good idea to improve your site right now. Failing to accomplish that, you can also consider to stop being a disgrace to humanity by quitting web development and getting a real job.

Failing even that, there is no need for you to keep on living, honestly, since you have proven that you don't have any standards, you don't care about other people, and you don't even listen to valid and meaningful advice.

So please, if you are still here and have not yet started to fix your broken-by-design website: do us that one favour. Leave this world.

— jonas, .

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